One Sided
by AlexaLupin
Summary: A conversation between Katniss and Peeta. Peeta's POV. Post-Mockingjay.


**This is just a little something I wrote while I was bored. It's really about me and someone special, but I when I re-read it, I felt it kinda fitted Katniss and Peeta. It's in Peeta's POV. He's the one who talks first, and after that it just alternates. Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>"I dreamt about you last night, you know?"<p>

"You did?"

"Yes."

"What was it about?"

"Nothing special, really. We just were together. But there was something weird, though. I could sense you didn't actually want to be there, but it was kind of your best option. So you stayed. And I didn't care. Because you were there and I felt, well not safe, but… I don't know. Less lonely, I guess."

"Interesting."

"Yeah. It's just I have been lonely for a while, and I've discovered that's the moment I start missing you."

"Why?"

"Because old habits die hard, I guess. You were the one I turned to every time I felt this way, but I realized it wasn't fair for either one of us. So I cut you out of my life. But I think I've made it worse. Now that there is no possible way I can have you, I want you even more. No, scratch that. I don't want you. I want my idea of you."

"Then you do want me. I'm not me, remember? I am your idea of me."

"I suppose. I wish you were real."

"I am. Just not the way you'd like me to be."

"Fine. I wish you were here, then."

"I am. Just not the way you'd want me to be."

"You're so frustrating. You know I mean you weren't just in my imagination."

"You know how to fix that."

"I do. I don't know if I want to, though."

"Why not? What's there to lose?"

"Dignity. Time."

"You think love is losing time?"

"No, I don't. But you know that whatever it is that is between us, it's not love. Definitely not love."

"How can you say that?"

"How can you not?"

"It is love. You have to understand that. A weird kind of love, I'll give you that, but love, nonetheless."

"I don't know. Isn't it supposed to be less painful? Less complicated?"

"Maybe. But it's us who have caused the pain and who have made things complicated. Not love. Love is innocent."

"Right. Okay, then. Say that I actually believe what you say about love being innocent and all. Isn't love also about freedom?"

"Yes… why?"

"Well, because it isn't giving me much freedom, is it?"

"How do you mean?"

"I mean I can't free myself from you. Believe me, I've tried. This is me trying, actually."

"Again, it's not love's fault. It's yours. And if you're really trying as you say, then I don't think you're trying hard enough."

"But I am! That's just the point. I try and try and try and I just can't be free from you. Whenever I think I'm starting to forget, you go and do things like this. You find your way back to my mind. And it always takes me ages to get you out again."

"I don't think I've ever been entirely out. We wouldn't be having this conversation if I had. How long it's been, anyway? Five years?"

"Yeah."

"Don't you think maybe we're destined to be in each other's minds?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to. I refuse to believe that."

"Why?"

"Because it's not possible. You don't care, anyway. For the past couple years, this has been completely one sided."

"So you think I don't think about you?"

"I know you don't think about me. Why would you? What am I to you?"

"But I do. I think of you constantly."

"Maybe. But it's only fleetingly. Whereas with me, once you're in, you don't get out."

"That doesn't mean anything."

"The thing is, you think of me the moment I'm not thinking of you. And you always make me know it. Well, used to, anyway."

"Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"No, it's not. It's cruel, that's what it is. Because you only use me whenever you're bored. And you're so fucking selfish, you won't let me find someone who wants me all the time."

"I'm not stopping you from doing anything."

"Yes, you are! You are, you are, you are. You never leave me alone. How can I find someone else, when you're always there with me?"

"Ignore me, then."

"I can't."

"Then don't."

"I shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not good for me. You've never been."

"Yes I have. You feel good when you're with me, don't you?"

"Sometimes. Hasn't been that many, anyway."

"Still. I've made you feel better, haven't I?"

"You were a nice change from being ignored."

"You're impossible."

"You, too."

"I love you."

"You don't."

"I do."

"Stop it."

"Why?"

"Because it hurts."

"Why?"

"Because it's not real."


End file.
